Again as I said before a lot of this will be on my struggles with the infertility thing...
Saturday was a happy day for Joel and I. We had 4 positive pregnancy tests.. 2 digital EPTs and 2 First response. Now before you get too excited for me... you must continue reading on. I told myself I wouldn't get too worked up and decided to call my dr. right away. She said, "Well we'll do testing Tuesday and start you on progesterone supplements." I said, "alright will anything happen between now and then?" and she said, "no it'll be fine for the weekend nobody will give you supplements over the weekend anyways." "OK!"
Well I had symptoms all weekend, nausea, tired as hell, bloated, sense of smell and started getting excited. I'm like well something is going right because I'm having symptoms. I got out the baby name book and Joel and I started looking through for boy names because we were soo convinced it'd be a boy. Joel was thinking Nero... weird off the wall names, I'm thinking Rylan, Austin, Liam etc. I had a wild dream Sunday night he named our baby boy LAVA! lol
Tuesday came and I was really nervous for my tests. I got the card from the lab so I could get my own results I was thinking low 100's for HCG should be fine and the progesterone needs to be 15 or above... My HCG was > 6. I was devastated. I told Joel to run to the store and get a EPT digital and it was negative.. something happened.. I had symptoms and everything!! My progesterone was .4!!! there's barely any in me!! I eventually found out it was a small miscarriage. My dr. said there was no way I was pregnant I was just getting false positives... on 2 different brands and 4 tests?!? I think not. Luckily I have an apt at The Group on Tuesday with a dr. who specializes in fertility. I'm hoping he can give us some answers. The only thing that bothers me the most is I saw a positive pregnancy test... for the first time since August... a positive. And then nothing.. I've gotten use to the negative tests and I'd MUCH rather have a negative then a positive and then nothing. Luck of the Irish bring me a March baby!!
OH and to top it off there's a certain person... who STILL is trying to talk me out of becoming pregnant. "If you were to have a baby 9 months from now what would you do?" The same thing I'm doing now except I'd have a little one to take care of. I don't go out and party I spend time at home with my husband. Oh and the infamous one... "How are you going to afford it?" Well we both work full time and can afford a house...how does anyone REALLY afford a child?!!? You just make it work! Can I provide for my child YES! So then they say, "Well you'll never see your child then if you're in school and working." ::screeching tires:: DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY PEOPLE WORK FULLTIME AND GO TO SCHOOL WITH A CHILD?!!? It's called prioritizing... something I'm good at! They act like I don't think about these things... I've thought about this non stop since August. I've got it covered! For you mom's out there... how DO you make it work?! It's not easy I know that but, what have you noticed you're doing different!?
~Praying for a piece of heaven in the year 2011~
Well, Phil & I had to get rid of a lot of useless things we barely use... we cancelled cable (that was $150 a month!) & we compacted our phone bill (that saved like... $40) & we both had to make opposite work schedules to avoid day care costs. He works 1st shift & I work 2nd. So, we prioritized & gave up a lot of crap we didn't really need.
ReplyDeleteHolly, if a baby is what you want don't let someone talk you out of it. I love being a mother, & wouldn't give it up for anything. So if they can help you do it, then do it. It's amazing!
Thanks Rachel I appreciate it! It's definitely something I want more than anything in the world!! And soo many changes for your little one but I'm glad it's working out! :)
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